What is Coaching, and what did coaching give to me?
[kōCH]
noun
coach (noun) · coaches (plural noun)
- an athletic instructor or trainer:
a tutor who gives private or specialized teaching. - Did you know, a lot of coaches have coaches? I have/had a few, not all the time, especially during my off season where I take control over my own training etc., but coaching is something I use and I value greatly. It's been key to my education, my growth, my mindset, and more. Discipline and education goes far, but adding coaching will get you further faster. Each of of my own coaches is specialized, and has given me knowledge in their niche that no text book could ever offer.
Today's post is reason to consider coaching, as well as an ode to my own coaches over the years, and some main points I've learned from them. - Let's first start with what is coaching?
Coaching is NOT a programmer. You can find training programs anywhere. In this post, I'm going to be talking about PHYSIQUE/COMPETITION/PERSONAL TRAINING/NUTRITION/POWERLIFING type coaching specifically.Coaching is a relationship. It's goal-based process that, through dialogue and exploration, bridges the gap between where a client is now and where they want to be. The coach serves as a partner in the coaching relationship by clarifying goals, listening, asking questions and making observations, correcting exercise form, teaching about nutrition, helping with mindset, accountability, etc. all with the intention of encouraging the client to reach their goals. The coaching process can expose limiting beliefs that may have been impacting a client’s choices, and it can also help uncover hidden strengths that can enhance performance. The true meaning of coaching is much more than just writing a meal plan, giving advice, or writing a training program ; coaching is about mentoring and empowering clients to unlock their long-term potential for success. Partnering with a coach can change your life, setting you on a path to greater personal and professional fulfillment.What makes a good coach?
In terms of fitness and nutrition, please DO NOT use coaches with NO fitness or nutrition background. Those of us in this industry personally see the mental and physical repercussions of this on a regular basis with new clients who have gone to these 'coaches'. Someone who lost weight IS NOT qualified to teach you how. Someone who simply jumps around in the gym and makes you sweat IS NOT qualified to write you a program. Someone who spent 49.99 to become a Multilevel marketing coach from a wellness, supplement, or fitness company like Beachbody, Herbalife, etc. IS NOT qualified (and much of the 'research' on the products sold from these companies are biased or non existant ). Before you choose a coach, follow them for a while. See what their background is. Ask for referrals. See if their values, personality, etc fits with yours. After all, you're giving over yourself to work with this individual closely. Choose wisely!
As trainers and nutrition coaches, we are also trained to spot eating disorders, or conditions that are outside of our scope of practice and refer our clients to the appropriate professionals when required.
Fitness and nutrition coaches should NEVER be diagnosing or medically treating ANYTHING.
No man or woman is an island. I know that I would not be here if not for the Coaches who have been or are in my life today.
As I write currently, I am in "no man's land". I have no tentative competitions, and I have the skills to carry on on my own with my goals for the time being. However as I climb my own mountains and strive to reach my personal goals, I do often look to my mentors to coach me in the hardest moments of the climb, whether that is when I become to busy to program my own stuff , when I need extra accountability, when I don't have the knowledge (for example, posing is like dancing, it's an art I have little knowledge on and must learn continually), or I need someone to look at the weak points of my lifts with a new perspective in order to correct them and get stronger, I look to coaches in the specific niche I need.
Before I introduce you to my own mentors, I have to share this story. It is what prompted this blog entry.
My last competition was several weeks ago.
As I walked into the venue for the evening show, I stopped dead in my tracks. I was in New Brunswick, several provinces away from my home in Ontario, but there stood a smaller twin to my 1st coach, Nic. Right down to the sweater with a gun that says "Line in the sand'. As I stood there, I realized that I was just staring. " I'm sorry", I said, "Other than the blue eyes, you look exactly like my first coach". As I chatted with him more, I couldn't believe it. His facial expressions, voice, and mannerisms were all Nic too.
Earlier that morning on stage had been an emotional one. If you've read my other blog posts, you'll know that the relationship with my first coach didn't end well. Throughout this prep I remembered, felt ,and healed a lot of wounds. Many things were said and done that were awful and I don't regret moving on, but I still do miss him often. That morning after I stepped off the stage I had a small cry, the judges had immediately put me front and center of the line up (a sign you're a contender for 1st) and in that moment my 1st thought was, "Nic would have been SO proud of me."
Later that night, after I had placed 1st in the Figure Tall class, I sat backstage.
I had competed on the same stage as my Prep Coach, Scott. Scott and I sat down and watched on the big screen t.v. the wellness and bikini girls, while shooting the shit and eating sour gummy candies. The "Nic look alike" who was named Jason, was sitting on my opposite side, and on my phone texting me was my posing coach, Tamara Vahn.
That moment felt like the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. Christmas past - this absolute stranger who was "Nic but not Nic" on one side chatting away. Christmas Present - my coach Scott, on the other side, and Tamara in my texts, and Christmas Future - just me coaching myself today, contemplating "What's next?"
Anyways, let me introduce you to my ghosts/ mentors, lol!
Nic Elia - The Lion - Physique/Prep Coach
"When the student is ready the teacher appears. When the student is truly ready the teacher disappers"
This isn't something Nic said to me. This is something I say to my clients when they feel ready to move on on their own. I get to come into their lives for a time, and I take great pride when a client feels that they can continue with their goals without me. I don't agree with coach hopping but let's be honest, No one really stays with the same coach forever. People change. Goals change. At some point a fresh perspective is needed. I take no insult when it's time for my clients to grow and move forward. Some continue to do what I've taught them, without ever hiring another coach. Others want to explore other avenues that are not my niche. Olympic lifing, Crossfit, etc.
I didn't stay with Nic as my coach, but Nic will always be a part of who I am. I won't go into the what's and why's, but the breakdown of that coaching relationship, and loss of a deep friendship has been like grieving a death.
You don't forget your Kindergarten teacher, you also don't forget your first coach. Nic changed me physically and mentally. He brought out the lion inside me. My maiden name "VanLeeuwen" means from the lion's den, and he would remind me of that often. Lion's don't run, they hunt, and they don't stop until they get their goal.
Nic was like an older brother to me. I learned a lot, we laughed a lot, and Nic believed in me SO SO MUCH! He often told me he was proud of me, which was something I never really experienced much of.
Nic taught me the fundamentals of fitness and nutrition. He taught me flexiable dieting. He broke down the mental barriers, the disordered eating, the food guilt, and the fear of the scale.
2 of the most powerful things he ever said to me:
"Whether you're in the off season and have a little more body fat, or you're shredded to the bone, ALWAYS wear your body with pride. You built that! You're allowed to celebrate that!" (Said when I said I felt shy of my success and unworthy to wear my arms exposed)
"You don't know your own potential. You've only scratched the surface. If you meet everything with the same discipline, you will be unstoppable!" (I think of this every time I want to quit, or when I stand at the platform, or the stage.)
I remember one day Nic told me he was glad God brought me into his life. Unfortunately there was no happy ending for our friendship, but I am thankful for his part in my life. He is still the first person I want to call when I succeed. He's still the 1st person I want to cry with when I fail, and to gripe to when things are not going my way in the gym. He understood the journey, because he lived it too.
Nic was HARD on me at times. I don't always loathe that though, He wanted me to win, He didn't want me to regret a single thing I did. He brought out a lot of potential, but it nearly broke me too.
That said, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't remember and/or apply the basic lessons he taught me.
I've grown and learned A LOT since then. It's been years now. Thank you, Nic, for putting me on this path. Wherever you are in the world, big brother, I am here because you took me from training wheels to a 2 wheeler.
Scott Anderson - The Philosopher - Nutrition Coach
Scott and I connected somewhere before my 1st couple competitions, if I'm honest, I don't remember exactly when or how. We competed in an online competition at the same time. Our bodybuilding competition seasons always line up. We suffer in unison, hahah.
We became friends over conversations that involved what we were going to eat once we were done competing, although, Scott, I'll never understand the desire to eat oreos dipped in sour cream!
I remember one day asking him if he ever made mistakes in his diet and how he assured me he was not perfect and to not be so hard on myself when I would fall down. I would ask how he dealt with the inner turmoil of competing, etc. and a lot of questions about health conditions and how they effected competing (as this was a very real struggle in my own prep) , as he was studying to become a Naturopath.
At the time, I had no intentions of hiring him as my prep coach, we were just friends. Shoot the shit, Gripe about the process of getting to the stage, Check in on eachother, as us bodybuilders tend to do, since the process can be hard on the mind.
In the end of my one competiton diet preps (one that I did not program), I got sick......The "I can't get out of bed, my thyroid is trashed, I'm mentally broken" kind of sick .
Scott got my nutrition back on track, but more importantly, his 'you vs. you' attitude got my mind back on track. It's nice to win, but if winning is your only goal, you're gonna have a bad time.
To this day, it always amazes me that Scott wins his spot at CPA Nationals a lot, and never actually goes. He's busy. He prioritizes what matters. He also reminds me when I need to slow down, because I never do. He gives an example of what it is to compete for your own pleasure and growth. For excellence sake. To never over extend yourself even if it means missing out.
We are both motivated and strive for excellence, but in terms of mastering a you vs. you mentality, I have much to learn from Scott. My own ego gets in the way, a lot. I want to be the best. What I need is just to be the best over myself personally and that in itself will make me grow in all directions.
I generally do my own nutrition programs, but I hire Scott to dial me in on the last few weeks before a competition..."Beam me up, Scotty!" , both for powerlifting and bodybuilding. Nutrition is EVERYTHING. He keeps me accountable, healthy, and mostly keeps my mindset positive. Me vs. Me. No one else. You find happiness in a job well done for yourself.
We got to compete with each other in person for the 1st time a few weeks ago. I sat there afterwards, satisfied with my efforts, but there's still so much more of myself I need to compete against :)
Tamara Vahn - The Cheerleader - Posing Coach
Cheer leaders are bubbly, exciting, agile. We have the same name, but we are not the same in talent or grace! I am no twinkle toes.
Posing is an ART, a dance. It takes YEARS to learn. The same way you learn ballet, is the same way you learn to do a stage walk, and pose, and do a routine. It is HOURS of work . HOURS!!!!!!! This is the most challenging thing for me. I can deal with muscle cramps, I can lose skin off my hands with a heavy lift, I can say no to most foods when I need to, but I cannot move and pose with grace. It's not something that is natural to me.
I remember before our 1st session, Tamara asked me to send a video of me dancing. ME....dancing?!?! After 30 minutes of private tears, I broke out my best version of Mr. Bean's Mr Bombastic dance. It.was.EPIC! and not in the way where I killed it. It was awkward, like me. In fact, Mr. Bean has some smooooooth moves compared to me. Think 'Elaine Benice at a Christmas party' type of dancing and you''ll have a good idea as to what mine looked like.
Tamara gave me space to learn. A LOT of patience. She taught me in the way I learned. If anyone gave me patience and encouragement, it's her!
I worked at it. I mean I REALLY worked hard at it! I've been working hard at it for years.
Tamara has also given me a private space to cry. Not just about posing, which was intimidating and hard to learn, but Tamara has let me talk, feel, and given me a safe space to learn, grow, and bawl my eyes out about all the pressures, disappointments and victories. She knows how hard it all is mentally and physically.
Good coaches listen and watch 2x as much as they talk. That's how they get to know you, your needs, and how to teach you best.
Not only that, Tamara has been my cheerleader. Every competition comes with her own tears of joy. Her excitment. She lives in your moment with you. She has been there! She has unwavering support. I hear her in my head while I'm on stage "Walk like you're the shit!" She IS my bodybuilding/posing Mama ! She's there for every moment, believing in me all the way!
Alastair (and Erica) MacNicol - The Strong and Silent - Powerlifting Coaches
Powerlifting coaching was a different monkey. After all the business of bodybuilding for several years, I shifted gears to powerlifting for a bit. Bodybuilding is a mental journey ...different mental than powerlifting is.
I originally met Alastair when I brought my son to Scorrybreac Barbell for the youth Barbell program.
When I hired them, I just needed peace, respect, and understanding. I was tired, and didn't want to be bossed around :P
Working as a husband and wife duo, they programmed, they corrected form with kindness, they helped me grow when I hit mental roadblocks , but they gave me space to breathe.
They were different in their approach. Different isn't bad. They were what I needed at the time I needed it.
Calm. Clear. To the Point, with every short check-in ending with some version of "I know you've got this" , or "you'll do great!'- Even though powerlifting was newer to me, lifting in general wasn't, and I was never treated as unknowledgeable , or as an idiot. Respect was given.
Never has a coach had to ask me to do the work, in this instance it was no different. I would grind quietly and they would continue to program.
I got to see their calm demeanor truly at work on the platform. I hired them to handle my meets, and it was the first time I had a coach present with me when I competed.
I'm a calm person generally. I don't shake or get nervous before something big. I found Alastair's calm presence matched that and Erica's calm conversation kept the day exciting and on track.
Chalk the back, chalk the hands, breathe together, ZEN....... One big sniff of ammonia (maybe a 2nd or 3rd) and go crush it!
It's noisy at the meet, but in that moment all you hear is your coach!
"STAY TIGHT!"
We got it done! Observe your client, respect your client, listen to them, and give them what they need.
Mr. Rogers once said, "There are so many things to learn about in this world, and so many people who can help us learn."
Right now I'm my own coach again. I have the skills to continue on my own, but I know with each step higher on the mountain, there are people to help me climb it. People who have been there, and who can give me a hand up.
It's not only about education and programming, that's part of it, BUT
A coach is someone who helps you to reach beyond your limits and guides you to greatness, whatever that means for you!
Thank you to my own coaches and mentors, and thank you to each of my own clients who allow me to come on your journey as a help and guide. I hope that I can give you the same inspiration, education, and encouragement as my own mentors have given me.
Lots of Love, Coach Tamara
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